Sex and the Single Girl

Being single... it's a mixed blessing really. There are some absolute fabulous things about being single. I like dating, meeting new people, flirting, not having to answer to anyone, being able to sleep, eat, and get dressed whenever I feel like it. Decorating, pets, and of course being able to watch whatever I want, see whatever movies I want and go to whatever events I want without compromise. That's been fun for me and I have to say being single this past New Year's Eve was one of my proudest moments.

Never in my life had I pictured myself so strong, so confident and so secure in myself. I've had adventures being single and I will always cherish them. That's not to say I'm getting married this weekend or anything, but in case you missed it, you can read this article on how I feel today about weddings and marriage, but for this article, lets stick with being single.

I never thought I was the type of woman who needed a man, or that I

The Single Life and Deeper Longings

Being single is a fascinating experience. I know most people tend to experience this in their teens and early twenties, but I didn't. This is my first real time trying out a single lifestyle and while there are parts that are truly draining and aggravating, there are so many facets, that I have to say on the whole, I'm really enjoying this.

Being shy as I tend to be in real life, doesn't help, but when I'm able to get past my nerves, I truly do enjoy dating. I'm one of those annoying girly girl types who enjoys taking two hours to get ready for a date. I like doing my hair and nails, layering on perfume and lotions, deciding what to wear. I love feeling sexy and I love that first moment when you open the door and hope everything came together the way you wanted and the man approves of your effort.

I love first conversations. I love hearing other people's stories. I love learning about their dreams and their experiences. I want to know about their heartache and what brings them joy. Maybe it's the writer in me, but I find life stories fascinating. I also like sharing mine. I love that moment when you find something to connect over. I also like to flirt, I love that moment where you realize, the man is honestly interested. I LOVE first kisses... especially ones that last.

I am notoriously naive and old fashioned however, and I think that's my personal biggest struggle in dating. Many, many, men seem to be of the mindset, how quickly can we get through dinner and get to the sex. Now, don't get me wrong, you know I love sex

When Waiting is Better Than Dating

 In the American culture we view dating as a normal, expected activity. It's social, it's highly sexual, even for the very young. It's fraught with heartache, pitfalls, and traumatizing experiences... dating is fun! :)

I'm not opposed to dating, I've done quite a bit of it myself in the past year. Dating can actually be an excellent way to learn about yourself and to grow, if you make that your intention. However in most cases it's an endless trek of frustration that keeps us distracted from our journey in life and oftentimes derails it entirely.

If you will indulge me, I believe, if you find yourself single, the best thing you can do for yourself and your future is to get to know yourself and figure out what you truly want from life.

I think too many of us make the mistake of jumping from one relationship too quick into another because it feels good to be wanted again, to know that you are still desirable, but it also keeps

Single & Satisfied

I have a bit of a routine in the morning for when I get on line, but this morning I hit the wrong button, ended up opening Facebook, then hit the wrong button again and ended up on my home screen where I saw this...

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other."
~Osho

I can't tell you how deeply these words resonate with me. This is what I have been doing these past few months. After Tony, I was determined to stay single, not because I didn't want another broken heart, but because I had to know that I could. I've never been single for very long in life and I needed to know that I could be alone and be happy. New Year's Eve was such a big test of that, I spent the entire night by myself out at Disney World. I had dinner by myself and met the most wonderful little family who I still keep in touch with. I watched music by myself. I went through the countdown by myself. I danced at midnight in a crowd of people by myself... and I kid you not, I was never happier.

It wasn't the absence of a man that made me happy, but that